


IDK, my BFF Gibbs.

by bloodyfandom



Category: NCIS
Genre: Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:28:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloodyfandom/pseuds/bloodyfandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs + netspeak = ??</p>
            </blockquote>





	IDK, my BFF Gibbs.

**Author's Note:**

> You should see the icon. http://l-userpic.livejournal.com/98430131/5197424  
> A conversation with _thelostcity on LJ inspired this fic. The icon is by iwantpie.

“Why can’t I just _call_?”  
  
McGee eagerly opens Gibbs’ phone and hands it to him.  
  
“It’s more discreet to text, Boss.”  
  
“Not if I have to put on my glasses to do it, McGee.”  
  
“Quieter,” McGee amends, “You don’t have to speak?”  
  
“Yeah, I got that.”  
  
“Anyway, it’s really easy, Boss. So it’s not a qwerty keypad…”  
  
“A _what_?”  
  
“Qwerty. Those are the first six letters on a keyboard, see?” McGee gestures to the keyboard in front of Gibbs.  
  
  
  
  
  
“Do I look like I care?”  
  
Gibbs rubs at his temple and McGee backs away carefully.  
  
“Um…one second, Boss.”  
  
“Fine,” Gibbs snaps, waving him away as he glares balefully at his empty coffee cup.  
  
It takes a few minutes for Tony to start panicking. He was watching, discreetly, with amusement as McGee bungled his way through trying to bring Gibbs into the 21st Century but now McGee was standing in front of his desk, fidgeting like a nervous puppy that had to pee _really_ badly.  
  
“No.”  
  
“Tony, come on. He likes you better anyway.”  
  
“That’s irrelevant, McBuckPasser, I’m not the technogeek.”  
  
“I’ll do your paperwork for a week.”  
  
“No way.”  
  
“I’ll clean your apartment.”  
  
“I have a service.”  
  
“I’ll…God, come on, Tony. You speak Gibbs.”  
  
Ziva leans against his desk and smiles, “You do seem to have an understanding with him.”  
  
“Yeah, but…”  
  
“And McGee is right. You do… ‘speak Gibbs’.”  
  
Tony buries his head in his hands and groans.  
  
“Thanks, Tony.”  
  
“I…you’re doing my paperwork for _two_ weeks and you’re taking a picture of yourself, in an Elf costume, framed and on my desk by the weekend.”  
  
McGee winces and nods, “Fine. Just…”  
  
“ _Yeah_ , McGeek…I know.”  
  
Tony steels himself and squares his shoulders.  
  
“Hey, Boss.”  
  
Gibbs holds up the phone, raising an eyebrow and Tony shrugs.  
  
“I’ll try to make it as painless as possible.”  
  
He leans over and pokes at the screen.  
  
“Hit that top left little button there, that pulls up the screen you need.”  
  
Gibbs does, smirking faintly, “McGee chicken out?”  
  
“For your sake and for his I have volunteered to help.”  
  
“How much of your paperwork does he have to do?”  
  
“All of it for the next two weeks. The rest of his punishment will be on my desk by Friday for your amusement.”  
  
Gibbs winces in sympathy, smirk turning into a smile.  
  
“Alright, focus, Boss,” Tony grins, poking at the screen again, “hit the down arrow button until you get to New Text Message and then hit OK.”  
  
“Easy enough.”  
  
“That’s just to lull you into a false sense of security before it crushes your soul,” Tony assures him, “Now hit the top right little button there to put in who you want to send the message to. Hit the down arrow key and hit OK when you get to From Address Book.”  
  
Gibbs huffs out a breath of frustration.  
  
“And anytime you need me to go over it again just…throw the phone at me or something,” Tony says lowly for their ears only.  
  
That earns Tony a raised eyebrow and a scrutinizing gaze.  
  
“Ok, so then you choose who you want to send a message to,” Tony grins, “Oo, oo, pick me, Boss.”  
  
Gibbs scrolls down to Tony’s name, hitting OK and the screen pops back up to the text message.  
  
“Good…ok, so hit the down arrow key until you’re in the body of the message, like an e-mail.  
  
Tony sighs and claps Gibbs on the shoulder.  
  
“This is the fun part I take it,” Gibbs grumbles.  
  
“Yeah, Boss. I apologize in advance.”  
  
“Let’s just get it over with.”  
  
“Ok…so, it’s like dialing a 1-800 number where they give you words instead of numbers. You…you’re gonna need your glasses for this.”  
  
With a faint growl, Gibbs pulls them out of his pocket and puts them on.  
  
“Ok, so you punch the number with the letter you need until you get the letter you want. Start with something simple like Hi Tony.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah…” Gibbs mutters, punching at the keypad with annoyance.  
  
It takes longer than it should and Tony tries not to bounce with impatience.  
  
“Great, now hit Send.”  
  
Tony’s phone beeps and he whips it out with a surprised smile, “Hey, wonder who that could be?”  
  
He opens it as Gibbs chuckles and Tony punches in a response. Gibbs phone beeps and he peers at it suspiciously.  
  
“Ok, so if you don’t open the message right away…” Tony hits the End button on Gibbs' phone, ignoring Gibbs’ noise of protest, “Then you go back to the text message screen…”  
  
Gibbs frowns at him and stares at the phone for a minute before hitting the right button and scrolling to the Inbox.  
  
“Way to figure it out, Boss.”  
  
“Shut up, DiNozzo.”  
  
“Sorry, Boss.”  
  
Gibbs scrolls down to the message and hits OK but frowns at it anyway.  
  
“What the hell is G R 8?”  
  
“Great, Boss. Sound it out.”  
  
“Great job, Boss… _thanks_ ,” Gibbs says snidely.  
  
“You’re welcome. Ok, so…now we can have fun.”  
  
“Fun?” Gibbs smirks disbelievingly.  
  
“More fun for me than you,” Tony grins, “You can abbreviate things to make texting faster and easier. So instead of typing out _to_ you substitute the number 2. Or the letter U for the word _you_.”  
  
Gibbs peers up at him over the rims of his glasses.  
  
“You’ll get the hang of it, Boss, I promise.”  
  
“Well, _duh_ , DiNozzo. Doesn’t mean I have to _like_ it.”  
  
“Of course not, Boss,” Tony nods, biting back a grin.  
  
With a snort and a shake of his head, Gibbs sets his phone down.  
  
“And you better not forward me anything stupid like you do with e-mail.”  
  
“Aw, Boss, those are funny!”  
  
Gibbs raises one threatening finger that sends Tony scampering back to his desk.  
  
\---  
  
  
Gibbs: Results in yet?  
Tony: Not yet.  
  
Gibbs: Y the hell not?  
Tony: Major Mass Spec has been wounded in action.  
  
Gibbs: What?  
Tony: The machine crapped out.  
  
Gibbs: Get it FIXED.  
Tony: Repair guy is here now.  
  
Gibbs: Is it fixed yet?  
Tony: Srsly Boss its only been 10 min! Give it time.  
  
Gibbs: Whats srsly?  
Tony: Seriously.  
  
Gibbs: Whats OMG?  
Tony: Oh My God. Abby?  
  
Gibbs: Abby.  
Tony: Her and her emoticons.  
  
Gibbs: Her WHAT?  
Tony: Those smiley and frowny faces? :) :( :D Like that?  
  
Gibbs: Is that what that shit is?  
Tony: Yes. Sometimes u have 2 look at it sideways.  
  
Gibbs: Remind me 2 give Ziva xtra paperwork.  
Tony: Y?  
  
Gibbs: Caught me looking at my screen sideways and got CUTE.  
Tony: I take it by cute u mean she was a smartass?  
  
Gibbs: No shit.  
Tony: Maybe she can help McGee w/ mine  
  
Gibbs: He pissing himself over the requisition forms yet?  
Tony: Im waiting 4 him 2 break. Its only a matter of time.  
  
Gibbs: Results?  
Tony: Still waiting. Abbys not happy.  
  
Gibbs: Neither am I.  
Tony: Sorry Boss.  
  
Gibbs: Might as well get out here 2 the scene. No use there.  
Tony: On it Boss.  
  
\---  
  
Gibbs: what r u doing?  
Tony: Hawaii 5-O marathon. U?  
  
Gibbs: boat.  
Tony: Want some company?  
  
Gibbs: little drunk.  
Tony: Hold off and I’ll play catch up when I get there.  
  
Gibbs: fine.  
  
\---  
  
Tony: srsly boss it wasn’t funny the 1st time and its not funny now!!!!  
Gibbs: LOL?  
  
Tony: No LOL! There are children in ur neighborhood who do not need 2 see me naked!  
Gibbs: u r in ur car.  
  
Tony: I cant stay here all day!!!  
Gibbs: u could work on ur tan.  
  
Tony: BOSS  
Gibbs: fine fine im coming. but maybe u will think B 4 insulting the boat next time.  
  
Tony: OMFG i will kiss the boat just bring me pants!!!!!!!  
  
\---  
  
Gibbs: y did i fuck her?  
Tony: ??!!  
  
Gibbs: Jen.  
Tony: she giving u shit again?  
  
Gibbs: yes.  
Tony: want me 2 run interference?  
  
Gibbs: u have 2 ask?  
Tony: we r going 2 have 2 come up w/ real reasons 4 me 2 whisk u away at some point.  
  
Gibbs: y?  
Tony: she will get suspicious?  
  
Gibbs: So?  
Tony: So that would be bad? u want her 2 call bullshit?  
  
Gibbs: u will think of something if she does. u always do.  
Tony: Aw, Boss. Im blushing.  
  
Gibbs: quit blushing and start moving.  
Tony: knock knock.  
  
\---  
  
Tony: u doing N E thing?  
Gibbs: u ok?  
  
Tony: kind of fell  
Gibbs: wth dinozzo? didnt the doctor say 2 take it E Z?  
  
Tony: yes?  
Gibbs: i’ll be there soon hang tight.  
  
Tony: thx boss.  
Gibbs: u hurt?  
  
Tony: not really just cant get up. the arm.  
Gibbs: it’s a good damn thing u had ur phone!  
  
Tony: i know. sry boss.  
Gibbs: don’t B sry B careful!  
  
Tony: R U txting and driving?  
Gibbs: yes.  
  
Tony: PUT THE PHONE DOWN GIBBS. JESUS.  
  
\---  
  
Gibbs: were r u?  
Tony: back of the warehouse  
  
Gibbs: u ok?  
Tony: fine. just a graze. u?  
  
Gibbs: 2by4 2 teh hed. litle woozy.  
Tony: where r u?  
  
Gibbs: inside. walters down 4 the count.  
Tony: hang on. im coming.  
  
\---  
  
Gibbs: wth is taking so long?  
Tony: hell if i know. im bored!!  
  
Gibbs: tell them to stfu and give me back my agent!  
Tony: IA doesnt love me like u do.  
  
Gibbs: they better not.  
Tony: LOL ilu 2 boss  
  
\--  
  
Gibbs: what’s less than 3?  
Tony: uh…  
  
Tony: OH! <3? <3 is heart. look at it sideways.  
Gibbs: oh. thx.  
  
Tony: I <3 u boss  
Gibbs: shut up dinozzo  
  
\---  
  
McGee: y r u laughing?  
Tony: funny txt.  
  
McGee: rly? who from?  
Tony: idk, my bff Gibbs?  
  
McGee: funny tony!


End file.
